What helps me with my ADHD

I'm sure you avidly read my homepage. Now you know that I have ADHD.

The ADHD is recently diagnosed and I'm in a state of... I guess, making sure I'm aware that my brain is different and I am going to struggle with things forever, and beating myself up about it won't fix it. Instead I'm trying to find ways to work with my brain.

Beating myself up about it - Before the ADHD diagnosis I previously got diagnosed with depression. Some therapy made me realise that the main problem is a complete lack of self-esteem, a lot of it due to growing up female-presenting in the 1990s and therefore neurodiverse diagnoses not even being considered. It's going to take a long time to unlearn all that internalised "you're lazy", "you're doing it wrong", "you're weird" and all of that.

Here's some things that I'm finding help me.

1. Lists lists lists lists lists

I love a to do list. I forget everything constantly, forget all the jobs I need to. Sometimes I have loads of energy and give myself loads and loads of jobs to do after work and forget about all the 'standard' things I'm also supposed to be doing.

Personally I use todoist. I've tried a couple of different ones and that's the one closest to doing everything I need. I have a widget on my phone so I can see all my jobs. I have ones that recur every day that remind me not to forget about the boring stuff. I can add one offs. I also use it for adding things that are going to happen months down the line. I'm just using the free version and it seems to be going pretty well?

2. Let yourself be wonky

I have so many hobbies and projects on the go. I always used to feel bad because I'd get halfway through one and then get bored. Blaaaahhhhhh you're so lazy, such a millennial can't focus on anything uselesssssss

ahem. Who cares. I'll get back to it one day. My throughput is no lower than anyone else's, it's just... interleaved.

I'm very excited because I'm getting a bunch of little boxes from ikea (love ikea). I'm going to put one project in each box. Then when I'm bored of one thing I can just pick out another box. And crucially, everything I need will be in the box!

I see this lasting, oooof, about 3 months. Then it'll go back to being a mess. But I'll give it a go!

I do DIY too. My dad is always nagging me, trying to get things done in what he thinks is a reasonable timeframe. Nope, things will happen when they happen. All the time I'm getting closer to achieving the things I want to achieve, even if it doesn't look like it. Rootling through the kitchen bin for a ziplock bag I know is in there is 100% on the critical path to building an extension on the back of my house.

3. Self esteem

OK so it turns out your self esteem is hugely impacted by having a job that isn't right for you and you're surrounded by people who are doing the same job and are really good at it and love it. Don't recommend that.

But I'm also trying a little daily calendar app and each day I just have to put in A Good Thing I Did. Doesn't have to be me being smart - can be being kind, or doing something out of my comfort zone. It could be something I do better than other people because that's what makes me special. Or it could be me doing something that I'm worse at than other people, because that's a good thing too!

I'm using an app because a piece of paper would get lost. My phone is always in reach...

4. "If a thing is worth doing, it's worth doing badly"

It took me a while to understand what this meant. I thought surely that means you should try to do it well, if it's worth doing? NO. BECAUSE THAT CAN BE FAILED AT. It's good to brush your teeth, right? But if you can't bring yourself to brush them twice a day, for two minutes, then floss, blah blah. Just do what you can. It's better than nothing. Celebrate that time that you did do the thing, and ignore all the times you didn't do the thing.

Bear that in mind for, say, news years resolutions and things like that too. If you set yourself any sort of deadline or routine, the first time you break it it's the end of the world and now you may as well give up? Forget SMART targets! Stick with vibes.

Edit 27/1/25

WAIT WAIT I forgot. The thing that helped me most of all? Getting a diagnosis and getting the right drugs. I am so angry about any sort of fearmongering about people being addicted, restrictions on manufacturing etc. Elvanse has been absolutely life changing for me and everyone who needs it should have ready access.